I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
