I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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