did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
