Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
