Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
