You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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