Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
