Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
