my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
