you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
