He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
