I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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