Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
