So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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