We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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