how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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