How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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