He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
