im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
