I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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