Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
