so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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