Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
