You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
