are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
