ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
