btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
