If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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