I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
