you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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