she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
