I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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