are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
not ubering you a puppy
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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