her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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