why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
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