so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
