You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
In other news, I just burned my penis
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
