I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
