I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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