dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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