you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
