Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
