She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
