I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
