Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
