I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
