it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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