Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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