she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
only if we run a train.
done.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
