i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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