What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
